3.07.2011

A peaceful birth?

A recent comment from our college friend Brandon:

"We took Hypnobirthing classes before our first was born and Meghan has used those tools during all three labors to be able to birth naturally. I'm hopeful you're reaching lots of first time moms who confront the most daunting task: undergoing a completely unfamiliar experience that is fraught (culturally) with fear.

Good on ya!"

In that vein, hoping to reach those moms, I'm posting this essay to moms by fellow HB practitioner Shelley Albini.

A peaceful birth?

By Shelley Albini



When was the last time you heard a story about a peaceful birth? Do those two words even go together? A new mom could probably count on all her fingers and toes all of the horror stories she has heard about birth. A first time mom, facing the unknown experience of birthing a baby is so susceptible to the comments of others. The fear gifted to her by “well wishers” actually helps perpetuate the story that birth is a painful, scary experience.

What if it’s true that “birth must be painful” is a man made construct? Simply put, the pain of childbirth comes mostly from fear which (based on the horror stories of others) physiologically causes the body to work against what it wants to do to birth a baby. Many are familiar with the instinctual response of “fight or flight”. As a basic survival instinct, when a person senses a threat, real or perceived, their body throws out adrenalin so that they can either run for safety or stay and fight. In fear, blood is sent away from the uterus and to the extremities. There are many stories about woman laboring continuously at home but the minute they get to the hospital, they become afraid and everything seems to stop.


It’s like trying to drive with the emergency brake on. You know you want to go forward, but something is holding you back. In birth, that something is usually fear. So how does one combat the fear? Understanding what the body can do and trusting in the process can take one quite far in allowing a peaceful birth. Knowledge is Power. There is much written to support the fact that the body’s natural pain killers – Endorphins – are available to birthing women as they let go of fear. By understanding what their body can do given the chance, many allow the natural process to occur without suffering.


“Don’t be a hero” many say when one chooses a natural birth. How nice to know that as one chooses not to have medical interventions, they are not choosing to be a martyr. They may feel pressure and burning. The body isn’t doing something to you; it’s doing something for you. When one runs a marathon and crosses the finish line in pain, they feel the rush of knowing that they have accomplished a great feat. By allowing the body to go through the course set for it from the beginning of time, babies are born alert and mothers recover quicker.


Other natural methods can alleviate the need for medication and allow the body to do what it was meant to do. These include warm water, breathing, relaxation, self-hypnosis and fear release techniques. Web sites listed below can give more detailed information about each of these.


You are making choices as to your child’s first impression of the world. Does the place you are choosing, have the same balance of caution and trust that you have? Do you know the difference between the services provided by a birth center and that of a hospital labor and delivery floor?

Do you know the difference between an Obstetrician and a Midwife? Have you ever heard of a doula? (a person certified as a labor caregiver who has been trained to “mother the mother”) Be picky about the childbirth education class you choose to take. You can take the one offered by the hospital or you can choose among other private classes. Look at your options – you are the consumer.



Ask your caregiver their philosophy of birth. Most often birth is a natural process – not a medical emergency. [Ask what their personal cesarean rate is and what it is at the place you intend to birth.] In this day and age options are the key. What does a peaceful birth look like to you? It could be a hospital birth with a doula in attendance, it could be a birth center waterbirth, it could be a homebirth. Answering this question is the best “medicine” as you relax into the process of bringing your baby into the world. Gather information and make an informed choice. A peaceful birth is one of the most empowering things a woman can experience. I wish one for you.


http://birthcenters.org
(National Association of Childbearing Centers

will help you find a birth center in your area)

http://hypnobirthing.com

http://www.dona.org (doulas of North America)

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by Pam England

The Birth Partner: Everything You Need to Know to Help a Woman Through Childbirth

by Penny Simkin

Gentle Birth Choices: A Comprehensive Book and Video Guide Making Informed Decisions About Birthing Centers, Birth Attendants, Water Birth, Home Birth, Hospital Birth

by Barbara Harper

The Doula Book: How a Trained Labor Companion Can Help You Have a Shorter, Easier, and Healthier Birth

by Marshall H., M.D. Klaus, John H., M.D. Kennell, Phyllis H. Klaus, Marshall H. Klaus, John H. Kennell

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth I.M. Gaskin

Hypnobirthing® A Celebration of Life Marie F. Mongan, M.Ed., M.Hy.

[I have most of these titles available to loan if you are local.]


2.24.2011

And then she began drawing monsters.


Alli Gallery--February 2011 "Spontaneous Unprovoked Monsters"





2.23.2011

My other love.

So you think I haven't been blogging. And I've been wondering if I'm done. But I've been spending all my internets time on this other little site.



The classes are up and ROLLING! I love being involved in birth in this way. Essentially I get to give moms 500 tools for making their birth more comfortable, easy and joyous for all concerned. They pick their favorites from those tools and we're all better off at the end of it. Come to the site and have a look-see!

Also, the baby above is no relation to me, in case you're racking your brain trying to recognize him. Just a good spokesbaby for my HB website. I'm going to continue letting my babies be the spokeskids for this website. Soon, soon, more pictures of and by my kids--since that's the reason I started on this bloggity in the first place: evidence of the kids for the grandparents. And NY cousins (hi nelsons! hi heather!).

12.16.2010

Mary's got Santa figured out.

This storm of holidays starting with Halloween has been a lot for Mary Tessa to sort out. They just keep coming, and with Allianna's birthday thrown in the mix, MT thinks that she can have birthday cake for Halloween and dress up like a butterfly for Thanksgiving. And that she needs to start making requests for her March birthday starting three weeks ago.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Santa.

Mary Tessa, knowingly: "Santa's going to come. And he's going to put little candy canes all over that tree."

Fun to have her on the explaining end of things, I thinks!

This is the tree in question. A little rosemary plant that takes care of my need to smell fresh greenery.



Santa. Item number two:

Last night Mark put aside his Price of Altruism to read the kids some stories. Mary curled up with Mark's book and began flipping through. She excitedly called out, "SANTA!!!!" when she came to this picture:


Mark was delighted. We both were, really. He certainly was a jolly old guy who loved children. That Charles Darwin. (For those of you who don't come across this picture all the time.)

11.30.2010

On decorating.



Most of Mary Tessa's deepest thoughts come out while we're driving in the car. Yesterday she had been playing with our nativity scenes just before we went to get the kids from school.

MT: "Mama, I have a qesstyen! That lady, Mary? She's the same as me!!!!"




I thought it would be neat to record the moment she first had that realization, since being named Mary is sure to color her Christmases for many years to come.

Also, "I have a question" is polite in-the-van speak for "Can I say something??" Seems there are often a lot of us trying to get a word in edgewise.


11.03.2010

'Weening


After 9 years we finally reprised the Grand Pumpkin Tower of our engaged days. We thought we'd do it every year. Ah well. This year Mark did it with a massive sprained ankle and an absent wife. Also, what about changing color LED tealights?!?



Straight-laced superhero.



Sugared-up superhero.



Sweet superhero. PlanetGirl. SuperAlli.




What you can't see in this shady photo is the awesomeness of young Skywalker's vest. Made it out of an old dinosaur t-shirt and a raggy cloth diaper, if I say so myself. Simon and some acrylic paint made some hand-me-down camou boots sleek and authentic. Now go google Luke Skywalker episode V and see how spot on we were. All for 80 cents.


9.26.2010

Looking forward to it

I think that all women can look forward to giving birth,







so that's why I decided to train as a HypnoBirthing childbirth educator. Soon I'll be offering classes in my area and I'm really looking forward to it!!!

The Mongan Method of HypnoBirthing is what I used for the birth of both my girls. It's a method of preparation for birth that teaches (really really teaches) you how to use deep relaxation and guided imagery to have an easy, comfortable (and often quick) birth. A major element of it is that fear causes tension which then leads to pain in your labor. The flip side of this principle is what I experienced: using this self-hypnosis I was quickly able to make myself comfortable (over and over, even with interruptions), allow my body to work efficiently and didn't need anything else for pain (the closest I came was feeling somewhat uncomfortable). I left my last birth thinking "I was really good at that! I won't mind doing that again!" I want to help other women feel similarly--and at the same time give their babies a gentle birth!

Of course, there's much more that HypnoBirthing teaches. It's a five week course (2.5 hours each session). It leaves you with so many tools and really empowers the woman's companion to feel like he can really help her as she goes through this major event.




I'm trying to come up with website name--any suggestions? LookingForwardtoBirth is the best I've got so far

7.27.2010

What we are and what we are NOT. more info



Self-image is very important.
How to define yourself and see yourself is something we seem to be focusing on a lot lately.





Cases in point:


1. Allianna is NOT a princess.






"I am NOT a princess!"






Exasperatedly denied while presenting herself like this:







Don't even bother with the "m'lady" routine. She will not be amused. But her parents will be, so they'll keep it up for a good five minutes any time the shining purple appears. Aaahhh fun.












2. Simon IS Darth Vader.






Very Seriously.











IS he?
He's scary. He's serious.






What calls it into question?



The pink beads? . . . the backwards i'm-a-summer-reader conductor's hat? . . . the cougar seal?









3. Nimbus is depressed.



This one just has "IZ I next?" written all over it.
Notice the other cat hanging from the noose.

On that note, g'night y'all.

More info--the next day. Simon has a deep love for "mama kitty" who's the one hanging. He also has a deep love for flying things. So he combined the two, giving his kitty a spin on the hook that is normally reserved for his circling biplane. Nimbus, however, has no way of knowing that this is a good thing.

7.08.2010

Well-rounded

Since we like books and we like prizes, we've been doing a lot more reading and library visiting with our summer days to take advantage of the library programs. Fancy Nancy has been unique in appealing to all five of our tastes (Mark can't stand most of the illustrations/plots that amuse me and I find the jr. nonfiction seashell and Star Wars dictionaries to be real yawners).
Simon channeled all of this Fancy Nance exposure into some creative 'dos for the girls this afternoon.

Afterwards he commented, "Wouldn't it be great if I could still do this for them when they're teenagers?" I told him I thought it would be pretty great, and all the girls would too.









ps. Mark Windexed our mirror YESTERDAY.

6.28.2010

Hours

This is why we have hours of summertime. To catch The Big Bopper and his sixteen friends.

6.18.2010

Duck duck duck duck duck . . . gator.

All of the Taye cousins a few weeks ago in North Carolina.

Allianna and Tessa go for their gator faces, while Jack decides he's going to go gator on Abigaelle after one too many of her superhugs. Simon, Zazel, and Alli are ready to "get this party started."




And with that the second annual Unbirthday is thrown for all the grandkids by Grandma.


With the notable addition of crab races . . . . when in Rome (or OBX), eh?

5.28.2010

Getting seized by summer


In an attempt to have some summer fun before we get seized by heat and humidity, we have gone on two outings recently.



Since Mark's committed to spending most of the rest of the summer slaving over mice in an air-conditioned lab, we took our "last chance to go camping" on a very rainy weekend.
I paid for our campsite while sheets of rain fell outside; we had a brief hour (miracle!) respite from the rain to get the tent up. We didn't do any roasting, but moved our picnic inside:

This is where they started sleeping. We love our huge--and very rain-proof--tent! This was its maiden voyage; we heard tremendous deafening thunder and were woken by lightning all night, but didn't get wet! We had a bright green tree frog hiding under our rain tarp in the morning--guess he liked it too. :)
We weren't satisfied with just amphibians and raccoons, so the next morning we went on a soggy hunt for:

Mark plans to make a painting of this tree.



I felt like we were living in a dinosaur painting.




Mark, the alligator-whisperer, finally detected this:
It was a good personality test for our kids: Simon ran about 50 yards away and hid on the other side of the road, Allianna parked herself with a scowl in the stroller, and Mary Tessa trotted towards it. Until the gator lunged. For a turtle, but still, I grabbed Tessa and moved back. Mark was nearly weaping tears of joy and after we saw the gator put away 3 fish/turtles in classic gulpgulpgulp fashion he declared, "This makes it all worth it."

For me to be happy, camping needs to include hiking trails. We got lost, the thunder cloud found us, Simon hiked like a trooper even though he was scared and Mark and I carried girls and mud-laden strollers.

We prayed under this tree for the rain to slow up enough for us to make it back to the van. In about 5 minutes it did and we were happy to get the kids in dry clothes and food and away from hypothermia. Can you get chilled to the bone in Texas? Also, this happens to be our only picture with Mark in it. I am a terrible photographer and make him keep the camera in his hands. But it was fun and we want to go again tomorrow, just sans tent and rain.


For our second outing, we went to see our (mediocre) Astros play our Padres (go Padres!)--it was a win/win experience cheering for everyone.



Simon declaring with a satisfied air, "These are pretty good seats."



Mary Tessa trying to blind the batter with her blues.


All's good when you have licorice and peanuts.
We're off to the beaches of North Carolina next week!